Diet Day 24 – 328 Pounds

I was thinking that today the scale would surprise me!

Last night was a long one, I did not sleep at all, thinking about my family leaving for Hawaii kept me up. I ended up tracking the flight from Seattle to Honolulu most of the night, it kept me occupied and called and I surprised them with a big Aloha the moment they touched down in Honolulu.

Tiered, I find myself driving to Starbucks for a coffee, my intention for this visit is solely to wake myself up with a hot coffee and then return to the gym for some late morning cardio as I slept through the schedule morning session. That did not happen, the coffee was good but it did not wake me up or get my engine fired like it is supposed to do and I find myself exhausted from lack of sleep.

I have decided that since I am being lazy today,  I should go meet my Mom and take her shopping and for lunch. I drive over to Miami Beach and took a brief walk along the boardwalk and enjoyed the warm morning sun and blue waters. The plan is to meet at Bal Harbor Shoppes and do some shopping and enjoy the outdoor shopping mall before having lunch.

Bal Harbor Shoppes is the pinnacle of outdoor shopping malls, the best of the best in every category. The parking lot is filled with exotic cars, the shops are filled with customers sprawled out in designer clothing and opulence is an under statement. I love it, this is America at its finest. I am looking forward to some serious shopping here when my size permits me to replenish my entire wardrobe. I smile with excitement and count the days with passion.

Lunch today is on the patio of Carpaccio, a marvellous location just outside the Valet parking drop. The cars that are pulling up to the valet are amazing, Rolls Royce, Bentley by the dozen, Ferrari, Maserati, Lamborghini and they just keep coming.

The menu is looking really good, the waiters are passing with trays of food that are looking and  smelling unbelievable. I am strong, I will make good choices and will not succumb to eating with my eyes. I am looking for meal choices that will provide me satiety and that are healthy. This is not easy, but I am succeeding in putting together a very smart order. The waiter is more than willing to hear me out, I explain to him clearly that sodium is not permitted in my meal regardless of what the chef thinks. He intently listens as I order and is scratching his order pad diligently.

Salad – fresh tomatoes and basil, broccoli with mixed greens with no dressing. I will add balsamic vinegar that is on the table. Salmon, grilled both sides cooked through with no added oil or seasoning served on a bed of fresh spinach.

I am trying to not think about what my Mom has ordered as my mouth waters. The fresh bread at the table is warm, the butter is soft and the appetizers of  deep-fried mozzarella in tomato sauce are primed for consumption. I don’t dare destroy my day with any of those items, I just continue to hydrate myself and watch the glorious scenery.

I made it through lunch without one poor choice, I drank three bottles of water and am ready say my goodbyes and prepare to depart back inland. I spent the day at leisure, I am finally awake and energized but the end of the day is near.

Got back to Pritikin around 400PM, very tiered and ready for bed but it is to early and I don’t want to get my clock any further off schedule. Sitting outside enjoying the sunset thinking about what to do next. Dinner is in another hour, not feeling like doing anything until then so unlike me, I lay down on the sofa and fall to sleep.

I wake myself up with a knock at the door, house keeping is doing an early turn down and if not for that knock I may have slept for hours. Time to get ready for dinner, the thought is not that exciting, I am felling lethargic from the nap and decide to turn the television on and order room service.

The room service menu is filled with bad choices and I am doing my best to pick something healthy but each time I scan the selections I can’t piece anything together that is of interest. This is the problem, I realize that my stomach doesn’t have a real preference of what the fuel type is, it just needs healthy fuel. It is my mind and eyes that are making the selection. It is so frustrating, the thoughts the visions of the foods are proving that my food addiction is still very strong.

I order, it is not a great choice but I find myself speaking to the operator without thinking. I order a clubhouse with french fries and a diet coke. Within minutes of placing the order I start feeling guilty and find myself thinking negative about myself. I pick up the phone and cancel the order, I just can’t do this and I am glad that thought process is going through my head.

I am thinking that my loss of weight to date is great, but I am also thinking with all the meals I have been eating outside of the program what my total loss to date would have been if I remained in the program. Just too much thinking about everything, it is so frustrating and I have to bring it to conclusion and resolve the issues I am having with food choices.

I make my way up to dinner, thinking all along how close I was to having room service and now I am going to have a healthy meal and feel good about myself rather than being in my room feeling full and guilty about making a poor choice.

The night is over yet my second wind is thriving and I am again ready to do something. I am not going to go out but I will take a walk to the Doral main hotel and see what is happening. The hotel is not busy at all, it actually feels very strange as the lobby is empty the bar and restaurant are empty and the staff are all standing around.

I make my way back to the Spa building and take the opportunity to stop in at the gym and visit with the staff who are now wrapping things up for the day and heading home. The sense of loneliness sets in, the thoughts of my family in Hawaii are racing through my head, Hawaii is five hours behind Miami in time and my family is on the beach enjoying the surf and sand.

Time to turn in for the evening and get a good nights rest so tomorrow can be another healthy day!