Diet Day 20 – 331 Pounds

Cardio – 30 Minutes

Today is the day – Biopsy of Thyroid, very nervous.

I must have been exhausted from all of yesterday’s worrying, it’s after 9:00AM and I am really late and moving slowly. I need to get going and get some exercise done, I did not do anything yesterday and I am feeling guilty.

Breakfast is no longer being served, however I am feeling the need to fuel up. I am really nervous about the biopsy, the needle aspiration is something not on the top of my list. I need to be fully energized to make it through the appointment so I am seeking some fruit to help me along.

I decide to go directly to the gym and do some cardio, I grab a couple of pieces of fruit and prepare myself to get started on the ARC trainer. My pre exercise vitals are 74 BPM and blood pressure reading of 112/70. I am thinking that with these readings I must be rather calm when in fact I am so nervous it feels like my vitals are peaking. Certainly it must be anxiety, I need to take some deep breaths to calm down.

I start-up with a slow pace and try to work my way into the session, it is just not in me today, I can’t continue. Rather than just give up I go out to the lap pool and try some swimming. It has been the most relaxing of all the exercises but today I just can’t get it going either. I am just not interested in anything, no matter how hard I try to keep positive I just can’t stop thinking about this procedure and the possibility of a bad result.

Lunch today was not that appealing, I have no appetite but need to eat. Everything I took from the buffet is just sitting on my plate, I have no interest. I play around with my food, creating different piles, moving it around but I was not eating. I was certain that the staff knew something was up, I was just not myself and it certainly was evident.

On my way to see Doctor Brenda Acosta, she is the Doctor that will be doing the procedure. I arrive at the clinic, it is just a few minutes drive from Pritikin, took the elevator up to the second floor and moved very slowly towards the office door. To my surprise the office is very small, the waiting room is filled with chairs and patients all of Latin decent and no one is speaking english. Through the small reception window the nurse requests my information and provides me a stack of paper work to be filled out including a bill which is to be paid in advance of my procedure.

I am waiting with great anticipation and nervousness. I am called, my time is here and I am walking down the hallway towards the procedure room. Dr. Acosta arrives to the room and introduces herself to me, she is very calming. She is telling me not to be nervous,  I have nothing to be worried about. I am sure that my skin is pale, I am feeling a cold sweat and start shaking with nervousness. My voice appears to be monotone as I speak with her about the procedure, she again assures me that all will be okay and the procedure will be painless and very quick.

The nurse prepares the ultra sound machine, Dr. Acosta starts the ultra sound scan of my neck area. She then starts to apply spray freezing to my neck as she explains to me that I will feel a bit of stinging from the spray. It indeed stings, it feels very cold as it is applied, I am squeezing the table with both hands pressuring my finger tips deep into the cushion, surely leaving indents. Dr. Acosta then prepares the needle, I briefly look at it and turn my head quickly the other way. The nurse tells me not to swallow once the needle has been inserted, I am doing my best to listen to her but the only thought going through my head is about swallowing. I can feel the pressure of her prodding the needle in and out of my neck and before I knew it, the test was completed.

Now that the procedure is done, I feel a giant release of stress lift from my shoulders. I am told that the biopsy can be hit and miss, as if you were needling an apple, you can’t be certain if where your needling is going to be in the right spot. That is assuring, I suppose that means I will need to do multiple procedures. She again assures me to be calm, the results will be back tomorrow and we will take it from there.

Back in the car, looking in the mirror as I am driving, the band-aid on my neck is the only evidence of the procedure. I was told that I could resume my daily activity including swimming with no concerns. I return to Pritikin, doing my best to keep positive and now ready to do some exercise. I pass by the gym, thinking about it but decide to keep on walking to only find myself back at the pool.

I spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out on the pool deck, still lots of concern until the results are back and reviewed. All I can do is wait, I am thinking all will be okay which is positive and reassuring.

Dinner this evening was very enjoyable. I sat with a group of people who were full of laughter and really enjoying themselves. The momentum carried the entire meal, I did my best to partake in all the conversations and keep a full smile on my face. In the back of my mind though, I am still thinking about the results and how long it will be to find out if something is wrong.

Back in my villa for the night, glad this day is over and ready for some well deserved sleep. I will get through this, I keep telling myself.