Diet Day 13 – 333 Pounds

Not a great day at all, I did absolutely nothing today!

Taking medication has never been one of my things. I am of the opinion that unless absolutely necessary one should not take any. Last night, I took a percocet to control my sciatic pain which was intense. The only chance I had of having a restful sleep was to medicate and the medication worked as it should, the side effects today are wiping me out. I am slow, groggy and cranky.

It will take me  the day to cleanse the medication hangover from my system. I have already missed breakfast, my morning cardio class and I am moving in slow motion. I have decided to drive down to the Starbucks for a coffee and stop in at the Fedex office to drop off the Gopro that I purchased yesterday to be shipped to my son. The Starbucks is busy, the line reaches out the front door but I am standing here on one leg waiting. I sense that I am not feeling 100%, it is almost as if I am in a daze but I remain waiting and waiting for that iconic moment when I get to place my order. I am cranky today, look out everyone!

I ordered a Coffee, whole wheat bagel with cream cheese. It is remarkable that my mind automatically starts thinking about the poor and good choices when it comes to ordering. I have never really thought that much about ordering food before, this is all new.  As soon as I order, I get this feeling of guilt with my choice, I am speaking to myself. I could have chosen something better such as oatmeal and banana, I tell myself. That would have been a better choice, it would have provided me the satiety required to keep me to my next meal.

I am learning but I still need to better understand the ramifications of my poor choices and where those poor choices place my mindset for the balance of the day. I keep wondering if those fit type people think so much before ordering. I am confident with time, it will all become natural.

I return to Pritikin after dropping off the Fedex shipment, I am certain I aggravated the Fedex clerk to no end. So many questions, I just had no patience and should have a bit more diplomatic. I am sitting at the pool, feeling guilty about breakfast, feeling cranky and not a very satisfied camper. I set up the lounge chair with plans of just having a me day until my scheduled Physiotherapy appointment at 1130AM.

Franks exercise and stretch package is thick, I have a few options to stretch and exercise this pain away. I spend some time with Camille going through all of the exercises and stretches in the package Frank provided in detail. I am learning about all the muscle groups and movements that need to be worked with bands and cable machines. These movements should give me some relief over a period of time, I will have to focus on the technique and be diligent with doing these suggestions daily. I have no intent on performing any of the exercises today, I just want to review them and make sure I understand the motions of each then go back to my lounge chair at the pool.

Lunch today is Shepard’s Pie and vegetable fried rice, not really that interested in having that. The salad bar looks as always, refreshing and healthy but I am not interested in having that. I decide to make a good choice but that choice needs to be created using the ingredients  from the salad bar and a few others.  I feel like a farmers salad. I ask the kitchen to slice me some radishes, green onions and celery sticks into a bowl. I add lo-fat sour cream and lo-fat cottage cheese to the mix and season with cracked pepper. One of the greatest things since Shepard’s Pie, is how I explain it to Chef Anthony –  This is how to lose weight, I tell him!

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Back at the pool, I am feeling more awake with some healthy nutrition in my stomach but still not running on all cylinders. I spent the entire afternoon at the pool today and feel pretty good other than being lethargic and sore.

Dinner time and after doing nothing all day, I find myself leaving the property and driving to The Cheese Cake Factory. What are you doing to yourself, I am asking myself. I come up with all those excuses,  it’s just a bad day, I am going to do whatever I want, tomorrow is a new day and so on. I sit and wait for my meal to be served and I am realizing that food is an addiction. It is running me and I need to take control to understand why, I need to break away from its stronghold and learn what triggers these cravings and exercise some self-control.

I had ordered a Gorilla Burrito,  they say “Go Big or Go Home” and I finished the entire plate. I am know feeling absolutely gross, my heart is racing and my stomach is churning and I am still hungry. How is it possible to still be hungry when this burrito was the size of a gorilla?

Another lesson learned, perhaps a great lesson and one that I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. I am fully aware that the choice was poor,  I had every opportunity to have a healthy dinner. The way I feel right now emotionally has no value, no benefit to my well-being. I could have chosen differently and not with my eyes, I should have eaten properly, sat back and relaxed this evening with the intent of having a good sleep and starting tomorrow off fresh. Now I am going to feel guilty, I don’t feel satisfied and I will likely not have a restful sleep as I digest this salt infested dump truck load of processed food.

I am glad this day is over, it was not a good day in any way but……….

Tomorrow is another healthy day!